


Revelations

by MyFirstAndLastVow09



Series: Rain In Gotham [5]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Panic Attack, edward is so slow on the uptake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 00:12:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8918974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyFirstAndLastVow09/pseuds/MyFirstAndLastVow09
Summary: Apologies. Realizations. Nothing is ever so simple between friends.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This part will contain more than one chapter. This first part is Ed's introspection mostly, with some dialogue and a little of Oswald's thoughts. Next chapter will focus on Oswald's thoughts and introspection, with a bit of Ed's.

Waking up from nightmares wasn’t something that was new to Edward Nygma. However, this one had him shaken in a way that wasn’t normal for him. He dreamt that Oswald had never spoken to him again. After saying extremely harsh words, of course. Along the lines of ‘I should never have gotten you out of Arkham.’ ‘How can I trust you again?’ and ‘Jim told me this would happen’. Ed shuddered remembering them, looking back on how angry Oswald was last night and then the dream…he felt nauseous already, and it was only 6:30 in the morning. Breakfast should be a fabulous affair, he thought bitterly. 

After he had showered and got dressed for the day, he looked in the mirror for what seemed like the hundredth time. He didn’t need his other self to show up today, so he tried to keep as calm as possible. If he wanted to fix things with Oswald, he needed all of his wits about him. That was short-lived however, because his cell phone decided to vibrate from the nightstand and crash to the floor. He jumped at the noise, startled. 

“Great,” he muttered, crossing the room to pick it up. He had a text from Isabella, saying she hoped he was alright and to call her later. Complete with XOXO at the end, just like always. He couldn’t even respond to her right now. Ed knew he needed a clear head; what was worrying him though is how to go about apologizing for something that he didn’t feel was wrong. Alright…he could admit that looking in Oswald’s window to his office was wrong, but nothing he said was. He wasn’t spying on him, he just felt that…that…FEELING in the pit of his stomach that Oswald and Jim together was WRONG. Not because Oswald was in danger or anything; Ed knew Jim wouldn’t hurt Oswald like that. But, he felt infringed upon in some way. But…what way? He thought. He decided to push it back for now, and apologize for spying on him. He did respect Oswald’s privacy, and shouldn’t have pushed the boundaries like that. He knew from the time Oswald had lived with him in his apartment that Oswald did value privacy. He took deep breaths and walked out of the room, and made his way downstairs to greet Oswald for breakfast. He knew Oswald had a meeting at 9, and would have his chance to talk to him then. Here goes nothing, Ed thought. He tried to keep his hands from shaking, but to no avail. 

Oswald finished putting his suit jacket on, and readied himself for his day. It was a busy one, and he didn’t get much sleep. He kept thinking about Ed, which wasn’t new, but now it was making him a bit nervous that today was the day he would tell him. There just didn’t seem to be a right time, and right place. These sort of feelings should be discussed in a certain setting, right? Oswald thought. Thoughts jumbled back and forth in his head, until he realized it was now 7:45am. Breakfast. Where he would see Ed. He was still a bit annoyed at his friend’s spying tendencies last night, and more than a bit confused as to why Ed cared if he was seeing Jim again. Of course, Oswald wasn’t seeing him, but still. When he had asked Ed ‘So what if I am?’, Ed’s reaction wasn’t one he was prepared for. Ed looked downright livid at the thought of it. But, why? He thought. If he didn’t know any better, he would have mistaken that look for jealousy. No…there is no way Ed would be jealous of that. He decided to think on it later, and made his way downstairs for breakfast. He knew Olga liked him to eat a hot breakfast and scolded him if he didn’t. 

When Oswald entered the dining room, Ed was already there, sipping on his coffee. “Good morning,” he greeted the other. No sunny smile like normal, Ed noted, but Ed knew he didn’t deserve one, considering last night. 

Ed stood to greet his friend. “Good morning, Oswald. I’ll tell Olga to get your tea.” He offered. 

“Thank you,” Oswald said, in a clipped tone. 

Oh, yes. Swimming start to the morning, Ed thought. He went into the kitchen and informed Olga Oswald was downstairs. She nodded and picked up the tea set to bring out to him. After she had prepared it, and left the room to finish breakfast, Ed decided to just go in for it. He didn’t know if Oswald would accept his apology, but he hoped he would. They had been through too much for their friendship to fall apart now, over something (or someone) as trivial as Jim Gordon. 

“Oswald, I really would like to apologize for my behavior last night,” Ed began, and Oswald almost choked on his tea, and coughed a little.

“Ed…” Oswald started, in a rough voice. Ed visibly tensed at the sound of it. Oh my, that didn’t need to sound as pleasing as it did, did it? Ed thought, and clenched his fists underneath the table to try to calm himself again. He felt the heat rise on his neck, and hoped Oswald wouldn’t notice. 

“I need to tell you, I am sorry about the way I acted. I am not sure what came over me.” Ed said quickly. He hoped Oswald’s voice was back to normal because he didn’t know why he loved the sound of his friend’s voice like that, but right now wasn’t the time to think about it. 

“I will not say it is okay, because it wasn’t. However, I do accept your apology. Thank you.” Oswald replied, taking another sip. 

“Thank you, Oswald.” 

“I am curious though.” 

“About?” Ed asked. 

“Why does the idea of Jim and I being in a close proximity bother you so much?” Oswald asked, and Ed almost dropped his coffee cup he was holding. Every word in that sentence bothered him, but he couldn't let Oswald know that.

“It doesn’t bother me,” Dammit, Ed thought. One of the qualities he had previously admired about his friend was now irksome at the moment. He knew Oswald would be as observant as ever, and not able to be deflected. 

“It sure seemed to last night.” Oswald pointed out, now tapping his spoon on the table lightly.

“I just…I knew how hurt you were when you and Jim split up before. I don’t want you to be hurt like that again. I care about you, Oswald,” Ed said, and he meant it. Although, that was only part of it. 

“Oh. Alright. Well, in that case, I should tell you that we aren’t. Together, that is. What Jim and I are though, are good friends. It’s all we ever can be, and we both decided that a long time ago.” Oswald explained. He still loved Jim, but no more than how a friend loves another friend. Someone else had his heart now, and it wasn’t going to change any time soon. 

“I should have just asked you, instead of spying. I really am sorry, Oswald.” Ed could hardly get the words out, because he was having trouble getting air to his lungs. Something in his chest, very animalistic, roared with joy at the idea of Oswald and Jim not being together. Then, it hit him. Like a fucking freight train.

Oh. 

OH. 

Oh…oh, dear…Ed thought. 

“Ed? Ed, are you alright?” Oswald asked. Olga had already brought their food out, but Ed had not touched it. He wasn’t sure if Ed had even heard him before, and looked spaced out. Oswald got up from his seat and walked over to Ed’s place. He put a hand on his forehead, and still no movement. He wasn’t feverish, but he was clammy. He lightly tapped his cheek. 

“Ed? Say something,” Oswald pleaded. He didn’t know if Ed was sick or what he was supposed to do. It was beginning to frighten him a little.   
Ed snapped out of his revere when he felt a slight smack on the face. He looked up and saw Oswald’s ice blue gaze on him. Very…very close, and looking very worried. Ed’s heart was beating so fast, he felt like Oswald could hear it. “I’m…I’m fine. I’m sorry.” 

“Are you alright?” Oswald asked again. 

“I think so. I just…remembered something. I’ll take care of it in a little while.” Ed supplied, with a smile. Oswald seemed to be placated a bit, so he sat back down in his own place and continued eating his breakfast. Ed picked at the corners of his toast, and nibbled on it some. He couldn’t stomach more than that at the moment. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?’ Oswald asked after a little while.

“Fine. Fine. I’m just…fine,” Ed assured him; well, as best he could. 

“If you’re sure,” Oswald said, but had a questioning lilt to his tone.

Gabe broke the tension in the room, much to Ed’s relief. “Boss? Cops are here.” 

“Just a meeting, Gabe. No worries.” Oswald assured him. Gabe nodded and exited the dining room to show them in. Oswald looked at his watch and sighed. “One day they will learn nine am means nine am and not fifteen minutes before. I like punctuality as much as the next person, but this is just ridiculous. Let’s go, Ed,” He wiped his mouth with his napkin and sipped the remaining tea in his cup. 

“On second thought, I am not feeling very well after all. I am going to lay down for a little while. My apologies, Oswald.” Ed stammered out. He felt like he was dizzy with every thought that crossed his mind. He needed to get out of that room and soon. Ed felt like he was stifling, and freezing cold all at once. 

“Oh, alright. I will send Olga up with some ginger ale in a little while. I hope you feel better,” Oswald said, walking up to him. Ed thought he was going to combust when Oswald touched his arm lightly. “Rest well,” 

“I-I will. Thank you,” Ed waited until Oswald had left the room, and then bolted back upstairs, and slamming the door to his rooms. He was out of breath and shaking worse than ever. 

Oh, hell.

He knew now why he felt so…territorial when he saw Oswald hugging Jim. Why he felt the jealous rage build up inside him to the point where it threatened to overtake his very being. Why he had not thought about Isabella since yesterday afternoon, even when he was with her. 

He was in love with Oswald Cobblepot. 

Edward Nygma was well and very truly fucked.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second part of Revelations in the Rain In Gotham series. 
> 
> Oswald just wants to get it over with and move on already. 
> 
> Ed is in a crisis...with himself.

Oswald made his way into the conference room (the room he had transitioned into a conference room, anyway) and sat at the head of the table. All he had the intention of doing is to listen to any suggestions people had on how to improve crime on the streets (Oswald chuckled to himself about that) and interject when necessary. “Good morning, ladies and gentleman. Let’s get the meeting started, shall we?” he announced. He propped his cane up on the side of the table, and began to listen as the Deputy Commissioner started to speak. 

About ten minutes in, someone burst into the room, huffing and puffing as though they had ran all the way there. “Sorry, I’m late. Harvey wouldn’t stop talking.” Jim Gordon took a seat at the end of the table, and Oswald smiled at him. 

“That’s quite alright, James. Please continue,” Oswald motioned for the man to continue. He was blabbering on about how homeless kids were responsible for more than half the crime in the city, and Oswald held his tongue at that. He knew that wasn’t true, and if they wanted to fix the ‘kids on the streets’ problem, then they should have listened to him to build a children’s home in the first place. Ed thought it was a good idea, and it would build morale for the city. Ed…I wonder if he’s alright, Oswald thought. Hope he didn’t catch that strange stomach flu going around. I’ll have Olga make him some soup later; that should help…

“Mr. Mayor?” a voice brought him out of his thoughts. He looked around the table and noticed he had zoned out, as he often did when he thought about Ed. 

“My apologies. What were you saying?” He refused to look bashful in front of these people. This man was cocky and knew that he thought Oswald didn’t deserve to be mayor. Time to kick him down a notch, he thought, inwardly smirking. 

“What are your thoughts on the subject?” the man (Finnick, he remembered now) asked, with a raised eyebrow. He hated this man already, and this was the one and only times he had met him. 

Oswald folded his hands in front of him. He stole a glance at Jim, who nodded slightly. “Since you missed the last meeting we had, not even a month ago yet, I would have assumed your colleagues would have filled you in. However, I will update you, because I can see you are vastly interested in the subject,” he continued, with a hint of sarcasm thrown his way. “I have stated in the past that it would be beneficial for Gotham to have a Children’s home. Note that I said Home and not Orphanage. My mother told me horror stories about orphanages back in her home country, and for the longest time I thought they were just that; stories. With some research completed by my Chief of Staff, it turns out that they weren’t stories at all, but very true. I would not like something like that in Gotham. However, if it were a Children’s home, somewhere these kids could be safe, warm and fed, and properly cared for, then I think it would benefit everyone all around. Don’t you?” Oswald ended by looking right at Jim, and noticed he was smiling. Finnick, on the other hand, was looking like someone pinched his face and it stuck that way. He wanted these kids locked up, but Oswald wasn’t having that at all. 

Finnick muttered something under his breath, but Oswald didn’t hear it. “Excuse me, did you have something else to add?” he asked Finnick, glaring at him and silently challenging. 

“N-no. That’s all.” Finnick stammered out. 

“Crime would be cut down, after all. Less paperwork, I’m sure.” Oswald chuckled, having the police at the table all nodding in agreement. “Now, I’ll get together with my team and see when and where we can begin construction. Next order of business?” Finnick looked like he ate a lemon, which pleased Oswald to no end. He loved getting one up on anyone, and this man deserved it. He had no right to lock up children that had no place else to go, or for anyone to care for them. 

The meeting went on and on for the next hour and a half, with less squabbling than the last one. Jim had to keep the peace between his fellow officers arguing more than once, and Oswald couldn’t have been more grateful. It’s not like he could handle squabbling here the same way as he would with his crime syndicate. He didn’t think the officers would take too kindly as to a gun being pointed at their head. As he called the meeting to a close, he sat back in his chair so he could breathe for a moment before heading to his office. The other officers were in conversation with each other all about the room, so they wouldn’t notice if Oswald slipped out. He went to stand and knocked his cane over. 

“Damn it,” Oswald cursed. He went to pick it up, but someone else was quicker. 

“Here,” Jim handed it to him and Oswald nodded his thanks. “Couldn’t help but notice someone is missing.” Jim noted, looking around the room.

“Ed wasn’t feeling well,” Oswald told him. Jim raised an eyebrow. “What?” 

“In the entire time I’ve known him, that man never even caught a cold, much less of anything else. Did something happen?” Jim asked him. He sat down in the chair next to Oswald so they wouldn’t be overheard. 

“Well, we had a fight last night.” Oswald sighed, and rubbed a hand over his face. “He apologized this morning though.” 

“A fight? Over what?” 

“Oh…you,” Oswald scoffed, Ed's reaction last night still fresh in his mind.

“Me? What did I do?” Jim asked, bewildered. “Granted, I owe that man a sock in the nose, but still.”

Oswald rolled his eyes. “Nothing. That’s what was so…odd. You didn’t do anything at all and Ed just…flipped.” Oswald stammered out. Even as it came out, it sounded odd.

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Jim was confused, Oswald could tell because he got this pinched look on his face. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure it’s fine.” 

“Um…did he get angry because I was here or…?” 

“Well, that and he saw us last night. You know, when we said our goodbyes.” Oswald murmured. 

“I’m not allowed to hug you, now?” Jim asked, annoyed. 

“It’s almost like he was…jealous or something. But that’s silly. We’re just friends, you and I,” 

“Yeah…we are just friends. But, it sounds like to me he was jealous, Os. Wait…you said he came home and saw us. He was supposed to be on a date, though,” 

“Right…” Oswald was wondering where Jim was going with this. 

“He left his girlfriend so he could come home…to you,” Jim pointed out. 

“No, I know where you’re going and I wish you wouldn’t. He said he wasn’t feeling like himself,” Oswald explained…but now that he was thinking about it, Ed seemed just as fine last night. 

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Jim muttered in a low voice. The other noises around them were starting to die down, which means he had to leave. “Look, I gotta go. Think about what I said, okay?” Oswald just nodded and waved him goodbye. Jim patted him on the shoulder and followed his fellow officers out. 

Could Jim be serious? Was Ed really jealous of the time Oswald spent with Jim? Why would he be jealous? No matter whether he told Ed how he felt or not, he still was with Isabella. Him spending time with Jim in any capacity shouldn’t mean anything to Ed, surely. So he hoped after the air was cleared, and that Ed knew how he felt, that he could finally move on. Maybe…maybe he would be with someone one day, but that didn’t mean it had to be TODAY. He was serious when he told Ed that he wanted someone to share it with, and he would love for it to be the man himself. However, he wouldn’t be where he wasn’t wanted in someone’s life. Not in this capacity, anyway. 

 

The day turned out to be uneventful. Just the normal for the most part; signing papers here, and taking phone calls there. He decided to meet with his team about the Children’s home when Ed was feeling better. Speaking of, he pressed his intercom button his desk phone. “Melanie? I’m taking a short break. Hold my calls, please.” 

“Sure thing, boss,” she replied. She’s been around Gabe too much if she’s calling me ‘Boss’, Oswald thought. He walked out of his office, and made his way through the never ending sea of people that were present at all times. He searched for Olga throughout the house, and finally found her in the kitchen. 

“Did you take Ed his drink earlier like I requested?” Oswald asked her. She nodded. “Did he seem alright to you?” She shrugged. “Okay, we have to work on replying to me when I speak to you. I’ll go check on him myself.” She nodded again. He rolled his eyes, exasperated. 

When he got to Ed’s door, at first he heard silence, but then footsteps. One, two, three, four, stop. One, two, three, four, stop. He’s pacing, Oswald thought. He decided to knock and check on his friend. 

“Ed?” Knock, knock. 

Shuffling over to the door, Ed quickly stopped. “Yes?” he heard Ed’s reply and his voice sounded…off kilter. 

“Are you feeling any better?” 

“Somewhat,” Okay, so he was getting short, clipped answers, then. Oswald knew when Ed got in these moods not to press, but he tried anyway.

“Is there anything you need?” Oswald offered. 

“The poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it, you’ll die,” Oswald couldn’t help but smile at Ed’s response. 

“Nothing.” Oswald murmured. “Feeling nostalgic?” 

“Correct.” Ed replied. 

Oswald chuckled a little. “Alright, well. If you’re sure, I have some work to do. If you are feeling up to it, maybe you could join me for lunch? Let’s say, an hour?” Oswald called through the door. 

“Thank you, Oswald,” 

“You’re welcome, dear friend. I’ll see you later,” Oswald laid a hand on his door for a moment and walked back downstairs. No matter if Ed loved him in return, he would always care for him. Ed brought him back to life when he felt he had nothing left in him to live for. He had helped him get to where he was today. Now was just the fact of convincing Ed it was the truth and not a passing fancy. 

 

Ed finally let the breath he was holding out. He tried to keep his voice devoid of any emotion, but it was hard. Oswald sounded so sincere, and Ed hated talking with him through a door, but he didn’t need Oswald to see him like he was. He was so mussed up, he didn’t recognize himself in the mirror. His eyes were puffy from rubbing them. His hair was back to its original curly state from running his fingers through it so many times. His shirt was untucked out of his pants, and his tie hung loosely around his neck. He usually became annoyed when he was in such a level of disarray, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He had, in the course of a night and a morning, discovered that not only did his sexuality extend to men, as well as women, but he also realized he was in love with his best friend. 

“Oh dear,” Ed sighed, and fell back onto his bed again. His phone pinged again from his pocket and he didn’t have to look to see who it was. Isabella had already sent him ten text messages, asking him if he was alright, and then later ones stated it wasn’t fair he was ignoring her. He finally replied to one of her messages, saying that he was alright and resting for now. He told her that he had caught some sort of stomach flu, but didn’t elaborate more than that. He knew she wouldn’t pry. She understood and said she hoped he felt better and that she would see him this weekend. He turned his phone off then, and sat it back on the nightstand. 

“How did I not see it before?” Ed muttered to himself. “Or did I see it and choose not to believe it?” He groaned and put his face down in his pillow. He stayed there for a few seconds, and rolled on his back. He needed to talk to Oswald, but when to approach him about this? Plus, what about Isabella? Wasn’t she my second chance? Ed thought. Second chance…at having Kristen back. My second chance at love. Love keeps its own time. Ed smiled to himself. Yes, it certainly does, he thought as all thoughts were consumed by a certain raven-haired man with the icy blue gaze that seemed to pierce his very soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are enjoying this as much as I am. More action to come, as this is taking on a life of its own. I know I said it would be coming to an end soon...but I keep thinking of more. *hides* 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> This is turning out to be way longer than I thought, but I'm having a lot of fun writing these two! As always, comments and kudos are appreciated!


End file.
